I woke up early morning, dead.  My eyes that had been staring the gray ceiling of my room started to water. I would just let it flow for I can’t do anything.  I am helpless.

I am not happy with my life.  I wanted to end this uncertainty that I am feeling.  I wanted escape.  I wanted freedom.  Freedom from sadness and depression.

As my mind submerged deeper in thoughts of death,  I found myself asking Him, 

Are you still there?  Are You happy that I am suffering? Is this what ” For I know the Plans I have for you. ” means?  You wanted me this?  To be lifeless?  Is this what you want? Plans for prosperity and faith huh?”

I waited for His answer. Every night I would still pray to Him.  Weeping and tired. 

Days turned into months and months into a year. 

What now Lord?  Am I nothing to you?  Lord You know that I am now dependent on You,  but why leave me hanging?  Lord I am nothing without You. I know I am sinner and I have no rights to ask You this but please don’t leave me.  I just can’t!  I can’t

I wept while walking back in forth in my room. When I was tired I went to mama’s bed and played with her phone and a voice whisphered… 

“Why are you sad? “

Is there any reason to be happy? ” I answered absent-mindedly. 

” I am here! ” He answered

My tears begun to flow. I closed my eyes for I know the voice was His. The peacefulness and calmness of thr voice. It was Him.
Jesus answered. Literally. 

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